


To Live as a Monster

by monkeysrool75



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, More of a headcannon than AU, Pre-Time Skip, Slow Burn, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-01-03 04:42:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21173612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeysrool75/pseuds/monkeysrool75
Summary: Marianne, haunted by her crest, struggles at Garreg Mach.  Good thing there's a friendly, bubbly, pink haired maiden to help her along.A were-monster (AU kind of?) story about Marianne and Hilda.  Fully based off of in game lore, with me drawing conclusions for parts not fully mentioned.Now with spacing for readability (thanks pheonix89)





	1. Marianne's Past

**Author's Note:**

> This is just the little intro to the rest of the story.  
Yo so, I'm pretty meh at writing but I'm full of ideas. like comment and subscribe.

“Mother?” the young girl said as she shook the lifeless body, “father?” Tears started to flow from her eyes. “Please wake up!” she yelled, but she knew they were gone, and she knew it was by her hand. The monstrous wounds across their bodies was proof of it. She collapsed in the puddle of blood and sobbed. “I’m so sorry…” she mumbled as she cried herself to sleep.

~***~

“Come now, Marianne, this is your new home,” the Margrave said as he opened the doors to his home. The blue haired girl kept her eyes at her feet as she walked in. Margrave Edmund was a name she recognized as a distant relative, but Marianne still couldn’t understand why he’d invite her into his home. He knew what she had—what she was.  
  
“I don’t deserve your kindness,” she said in a low voice.  
  
“Nonsense, my dear girl. I require a daughter, and you require a family. This seems like the perfect partnership,” he replied with a large smile.  
  
“I don’t know if my services as a daughter can outweigh the curse of… of my crest,” she spat out the last few words, as they left a sour taste in her mouth. The margraviate responded by sighing and placing his hand on her head.  
  
“Listen, Marianne. That’s not something you have control over. You’re not a bad person because of it. Please know that I’ve taken you in because I wanted to. I care for you,” he said as he rubbed her hair.  
  
“If you say so, Margrave…”

~***~

Three years have passed since the incident, which the general public knows as the mysterious disappearance of a noble couple, and Margrave Edmund’s adoption of their daughter Marianne. The girl sat alone in her room most days, only ever going out to interact with the local fauna. She wasn’t allowed to go out into town on her own, but she was fine with that since she didn’t like to leave anyway. However, one night a moon—when it was at its fullest—she would go out. These nights were when the crest she bore, the crest of the beast, would awaken and show its full power. These were the very same nights a gruesome monster was often seen in a nearby forest.  
  
Marianne was sitting in her room when there was a knock at the door. Margrave Edmund stuck his head through the door, “may I come in?” he asked.  
  
“Of course, Margrave,” Marianne replied flatly.  
  
“Ah, you still won’t call me father,” he said. Marianne simply averted her eyes to the floor.  
  
“What do you want, Margrave,” she asked. He cleared his throat and sat on the edge of her bed.  
  
“I’ve enrolled you in the Officer’s Academy.”  
  
“You what!?” Marianne responded, “why would you do that!?”  
  
“I need you to find a husband, and I feel this is the best place for that.”  
  
“B-but… what about my… y-you know…”  
  
“Already taken care of. I’ve requested that your crest not be identified, and I would appreciate it if you acted as though you didn’t have a crest.”  
  
“Margrave, that doesn’t stop the fact that… every moon I-I…”  
  
“I am fully aware of what happens every moon. However, nothing has happened since the incident 3 years ago, save for animal carcasses being found in the forest,” this statement made Marianne shiver, she hated hurting animals just as much as she hated hurting people, “I believe the good outweighs the bad.”  
  
“But I—”  
  
“Marianne, this is non-negotiable,” he said in a very stern tone.  
  
“Y-yes, Margrave,” she responded with her eyes glued to the floor.


	2. Marianne's Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marianne starts life at Garreg Mach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the actual story starting

Marianne nervously stepped out of the carriage and was met by an overly enthusiastic knight.  
  
“Greetings, Miss Edmund! Welcome to Garreg Mach Monastery!” his excitement startled the messy haired girl, “please follow me for your tour of the grounds!” Marianne was silent for a few moments, trying to gather the strength to simply respond to him. She kept her eyes firmly glued to her shoes.  
  
“Um… O-ok…” she said in a barely audible voice.  
  
“Yes, Miss Edmund, right this way!” the cheery knight said as he led the way, “This area we’re standing in right now is where merchants come from the local town to sell their wares. Sometimes we even get merchants from further away!” They walked up a large staircase, and the knight paused for a moment, “This is where I’m usually stationed as a gatekeeper. Nothing ever gets past me, so you have nothing to worry about inside the monastery walls!” Marianne stiffened at this.  
  
“_What if you let something in without even realizing it?_” she thought to herself.  
  
“To your left we have the fishing pond and green house, and to your right we have the stables. The horses are on the bottom floor, and the wyverns and pegasi are on the second floor,” Marianne slightly perked up at the mention of animals. The gatekeeper led her inside and up a large stairway, “to your left is the dining hall,” he said as they passed it, “and right up here is the reception hall. Events are held here, but it’s open all the time.” They walked through the hall and passed a staircase, which the overly friendly guy said led to the library. Marianne had her eyes on her shoes as she wanted nothing more than to be left alone. This gatekeeper was too much for her. “And across that bridge is the Cathedral,” he said as they took a left before reaching it. Marianne made a mental note of where she could go to pray to the goddess properly.  
  
“Right down there is the Officer’s Academy classrooms. You’re in the Golden Deer House, yes? You’ll be in the third classroom down,” he said with a smile, “and right up here are the training grounds,” they took another left, Marianne’s patience long gone at this point, “This is the commoner student quarters, you’ll be on the second floor.”  
  
“_Oh, thank the goddess we’re almost done,_” she thought as they walked past several rooms, down a flight of stairs, past more rooms and stopped at a small building, “This is the greenhouse, and the fishing pond is right there. We started the tour right down there, as a reference. Up these stairs here are the noble student’s quarters, and the end of my time with you! Please follow me to your quarters!”  
  
He led her up the stairs and into a narrow hallway with doors all along one side, and windows on the other. The gatekeeper stopped at the second room, “These are your quarters, Miss Edmund! It was a pleasure giving you a tour of the grounds! Please don’t hesitate to stop by my post and say hi!”  
  
As he walked away Marianne’s body relaxed. She was relieved that her experience with the gatekeeper had come to an end. She opened the door, but before she could seclude herself in her room a peppy feminine voice called out to her.  
  
“Hey, you’re the Edmund girl, right?”  
  
“Um… y-yes… my name is Marianne…” she said, turning her body toward the voice, but keeping her head down.  
  
“I’m Hilda. Hilda Valentine Goneril. It looks like we’re gonna be neighbors! And classmates since you’re also from the Alliance.”  
  
“I-is that so?” Marianne shyly responded as she eyed the bed in her room.  
  
“You wanna head down to the dining hall and grab something to eat? I’m starving~”  
  
“Um... no. I think it’d be for the best if you kept your distance from me…”  
  
“Wha- geez, Marianne, do you really not wanna be my friend that badly?”  
  
“N-no it’s not you! It’s just for your own good if you don’t have anything to do with me… I appreciate the kindness, but I’m not worth it,” Marianne said as she walked into her room, closing the door behind her.  
  
“_Oh, I see,_” Hilda thought to herself, “_she’s just shy. Very, very, very shy._”  
  
“Hey, Hilda,” a voice called out, “you coming to the dining hall or not?”  
  
“Yeah yeah Claude, I’m coming.”  
  


~***~

Marianne had stayed in her room for several hours, and decided she’d calmed down enough from the day’s earlier escapades and made her way towards the cathedral. She could see it from the bridge, and it was simply stunning. She made her way inside and stood in awe.

“_Any prayer made in here is bound to be heard by the goddess,_” she thought to herself as she began her daily prayer—a prayer she’s been doing every day for three years now. Thanks and protection if anyone ever asked, but only she knew what she truly asked of the goddess.

“Hey Marianne, I didn’t peg you as the religious type,” the pink haired girl said as she seemingly appeared out of thin air

“Oh, um, h-hi Hilda… What are you doing here?”

“Well, I thought I’d check out the cathedral since my parents told me how beautiful it is. I wasn’t expecting to find a beautiful girl in here too,” she said with a smile and a wink. Marianne felt her face heat up, and she buried it in her hands. “Anyways,” she continued, “I was about to grab some dinner, and since you didn’t come earlier, I was hoping you’d come now!”

“Th-that’s very sweet of you Hilda, but I—” Marianne was cut off by her stomach arguing with her. The red that had left her face immediately rushed back.

“That sounds like a yes to me! Besides, now I feel like if I don’t see you eat you won’t, and I’m not gonna let my new neighbor starve herself. Come on!” Hilda said, grabbing the nervous wreck of a girl by the hand and dragging her all the way to the dining hall.

When they finally arrived, Hilda let go of her captive’s hand and they got in line to order.

“What do you want, Marianne? They make like everything so you can get anything you want.”

“O-oh, I don’t know… Anything is fine,” the blue hair girl responded, averting her gaze to the ground. Hilda giggled in response.

“Well, if anything is fine and you can’t decide then I guess I’ll just order for you. Jeez Mari, you’re like a lost puppy.” Marianne’s whole body stiffened.

“M-Mari!?”

“Oh sorry, do you not like it?”

“N-no it’s just that… No one’s ever called me that besides my parents…”

“Do you not want me to call you that then?”

Marianne tried her hardest to look anywhere but Hilda as her face lit up again, “You can call me whatever you want, Hilda.”

Once Hilda had ordered for the two of them—she’d ordered Cheesy Verona Stew for both—they sat down at the end of a long table. The girl with messy hair took a spoonful, and when it hit her tongue her face immediately lit up. Hilda couldn’t help but feel her own face heat up a little. She’d never seen Marianne smile before. “_It’s a treasure,_” Hilda thought, “_something I need to protect._”

“I like this dish,” she was brought out of her thoughts by the smiling girl’s soft voice, “It was my father’s favorite…”

“Was?” Hilda asked, wide eyed, “I thought the Margrave was good and well. Last I heard he was negotiating with my brother about some matters involving the Almyran boarder.” And just as soon as it came, it went. Her smile was replaced with the normal darkness that occupied her face.

“Margrave Edmund is my adoptive father,” she said spat.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Marianne, I didn’t realize—”

“N-no it’s fine… you couldn’t have known…”

Hilda paused, and thought carefully about her next words, but curiosity got the better of her, “Is it ok for me to ask what happened to them?” She immediately realized her question was a mistake when Marianne became visibly uncomfortable.

“They… I-I…”

“Hey, forget it Mari. I’m sorry I asked. It was insensitive of me to ask something so personal.”

Marianne just nodded and kept her eyes down for the rest of the meal while Hilda made a mental note to never bring up the subject again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yee


	3. Idle Maiden?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claude confronts Hilda about Marianne, and Hilda finds out Marianne likes animals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably mention that in my head cannon Hilda and Claude have known each other since before their time at the academy. Don't really know how, but that's what happens in my brain. Even if they don't, I think a week of Claude being Claude should be enough for him to pick up on how Hilda is.

It’d been about a week since the students of the officer’s academy moved in, and classes were in full swing. Hilda and Marianne had fallen into a routine. Every morning Hilda rapped her knuckles on her neighbor’s door, and patiently waited for the girl to open it. The two would then walk to class; Hilda talking about something random, and Marianne keeping her eyes on the ground. And after class Hilda would immediately invite Marianne to join her in the dining hall, and Marianne left to go to the cathedral, or wherever else she liked to go on the monastery grounds.  
  
However, Claude broke their routine by grabbing Hilda before she could stop Marianne from beelining to wherever she liked to run off to.  
  
“Claude, if you need help with something you know better than to ask me,” Hilda said, clearly annoyed with him.  
  
“That’s just the thing, Hilda,” he responded, “I’ve known you for long enough to know how you feel about doing work and putting in effort, and that’s precisely why your relationship with Marianne has piqued my interest.” Hilda couldn’t help but feel her face warm up a bit. “You’re constantly going out of your way to spend time with her, even waking up early. That’s not like you. So, I wanted to see what’s going on.”  
  
“Is it really so weird to go the extra mile to try and be friends with someone?”  
  
“It is when it’s you,” Claude smirked, “I have a feeling you’re trying to be a little bit more than just friends with our sweet Marianne.”  
  
Hilda’s face lit up a dark hue of red, and she quickly turned her gaze away from Claude, “I-I have no such intentions.”  
  
“Really? The laziest girl at Garreg Mach is putting in effort, and at the benefit of another person. I thought you only cared about yourself.”  
  
“I’ll have you know I can be very caring!” she retorted, “Like when Holst got sick a few moons ago I never left that idiot’s bedside!”  
  
“Alright, even if that is the case, and it isn’t most of the time, your out of character helpfulness isn’t the only thing that lead me to my theory,” the smirking boy began, “I haven’t seen you look at anyone else at Garreg Mach the same way you look at her.”  
  
Hilda froze. Was that right?  
  
“Do I really act so different around Mari?” she asked, more to herself than her house leader.  
  
“Aww, you even have a pet name for her!”  
  
“Claude, please don’t tease me.”  
  
“I’m sorry Hilda, I just kind of like seeing you all flustered like this. But I guess I should cross you off my list of potential bachelorettes if you’re playing for the other team,” he said with a playful nudge. Hilda didn’t respond, and her gaze seemed to fall even lower if that was possible.  
  
“Hey, come on, I’m just playing around,” he said, his playful tone replaced with worry.  
  
“You know, you can be a real ass sometimes!” Hilda snapped, “you act like you know everything, but you don’t, ok?”  
  
“Hilda I-”  
  
“No, Claude, this conversation is over,” she said as she stormed out of the classroom.  
  
“I’ll be rooting for you,” Claude said to an empty classroom.  
  
Hilda walked into the dining hall, but there wasn’t a cyan head waiting for her like she’d hoped. She knew Marianne still pushed her away, and that she was very distant, but she’d still kind of thought that Marianne would have put in some effort towards their relationship the same way Hilda apparently did. “_Great,_” she groaned to herself, “_now Claude’s words are getting into my head._”  
  
“What’s up, Hilda? Not with Marianne today, I see,” a voice pulled her from her thoughts.  
  
“Why is everyone so fixated on my relationship with Marianne!?” Hilda barked, immediately regretting her impulsive reaction. She shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked to the girl in front of her, “I’m sorry Leonie. Claude got to me earlier. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”  
  
Leonie smiled, “hey, don’t worry about it. Claude seems like the kind of guy to be able to get under someone’s skin.”  
  
“He certainly is,” Hilda replied flatly, “well, I’m gonna go look for Mari, sorry again Leonie!”  
  
“Hilda, wait,” the orange haired girl said before she could run off, “before you start running around aimlessly, I just saw her at the stables.”  
  
Hilda couldn’t stop the smile that creeped onto her face while she turned and skipped out of the dining hall, “well, then I guess I know where to start!”  
  
As the pigtailed girl turned the final corner to the stables, she heard a familiar soft voice.  
  
“You have such a pretty coat,” Marianne said with a smile. The horse she was grooming softly snorted in response. “Oh, I’m sorry, handsome. You are very handsome, Dorte.”  
  
Hilda couldn’t help but smile as well. Is this where Marianne always ran off to? She came to the stables to talk to her animal friends. How cute!  
  
“Hey, Mari,” Hilda greeted. Marianne jumped in response; the smile on her face was replaced with her normal gloomy demeanor.  
  
“O-oh, hi Hilda.”  
  
“I didn’t know you liked animals,” she said while inwardly screaming at herself for being the reason this girl’s beautiful smile left.  
  
“Yes, I always feel comfortable around them,” she ran her hand down Dorte’s mane. Hilda gasped, and she grabbed Marianne’s hands in her own.  
  
“You have to meet Nugget!” she exclaimed with a huge smile.  
  
“N-Nugget?”  
  
“Yes!” she said as she dragged her friend into the stables, up the stairs, and down to the very last stall on the second floor. Behind the chest-high wooden door laid an adolescent wyvern. He immediately jumped up upon noticing the pair, and happily lapped at Hilda’s face.  
  
“Woah, down boy!” she managed to say through giggles. When the excited wyvern finally relented, she rubbed her hand down his face and kissed his nose.  
  
“Isn’t he just the cutest?” she said as she grabbed his head and shook it playfully, eliciting a happy cry from him. Marianne couldn’t help but laugh at the spectacle in front of her.  
  
“I think a wyvern is the last pet I would have expected you to have,” she said, raising her hand to Nugget.  
  
“Yeah, well my big brother said I had an aptitude for using an axe and has had his heart set on me becoming a wyvern lord ever since. Nugget here was a gift from him. I’ve raised him since he was an egg,” she said while her wyvern sniffed at Marianne’s hand, “he looked more like a nugget back then.”  
  
Nugget lowered his head and let Marianne pet him. When she finally pulled her hand away the wyvern stuck its tongue out and dragged it across her face, causing her to laugh again.  
  
“He likes you,” Hilda said with a smile.  
  
“I like you too, Nugget. You’re such a handsome young wyvern, aren’t you?”  
  
Nugget happily cried out as the two girls doted on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were stuff should start next chapter *eyes emoji*  
I've been super excited to write the Nugget scene since I had the idea for this fic. I always kinda imagined Hilda giving he wyvern a really stupid name.


	4. The End of the First Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marianne's first full moon at Garreg Mach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while, got bad writer's block. I have the next couple bits all thought out so I'll just need to have the time to write them down.  
shout out to my best friend who IS good at writing for proofreading.

The current class of the Officer’s Academy had been there for almost a full moon, and Marianne had finally somewhat opened up to Hilda. She would still try to push her away, but not as often. Hilda took pride in this small victory and hoped that one day Marianne would finally stop being so hard on herself, saying things like her presence was bad luck. “Well, I’ve been spending an awful lot of time with you and nothing bad has happened to me,” Hilda would reply whenever she said such things. A lot had happened this moon: the Black Eagles’ professor had run away and been replaced by a young mercenary, and the mock battle between the houses was coming up at the end of the week.  
  
Marianne sat alone in her room, dreading the end of the moon. She wasn’t worried about the mock battle—she actually didn’t care about that at all. She was worried about the night after it. The last of the moon. The night she would lose control.  
  
“_If it weren’t a mock battle,_” she thought, letting her tears flow, “_if it were a real battle, then maybe I’d be gone before sundown._” She curled up and pulled the covers over her head. Every day in the cathedral, she prayed for the goddess to take her because she didn’t have the courage to take herself. But then there was Hilda. That girl was the reason Marianne got out of bed in the morning, the reason she smiled for the first time in over three years; the reason her heart beat wildly like it was trying to break free from her chest.  
  
“_How would she react if I were gone?_” her thoughts probed her. “_How would she react if she knew what I was?_” She was torn. She was terrified of rejection, but at the same time she’d never wanted to tell anyone about her secret more. It was Hilda, after all. Hilda couldn’t hate her, right? But who could love a monster?  
  
“_L-love!?_” she thought, shocking herself. Where did that come from? Marianne felt her face heat up. Why was she concerned with whether or not Hilda loved her? Did she love Hilda? But if such a horrid creature harbored feelings for someone as wonderful as Hilda, that wouldn’t be fair to her. She’d end up hurting her, or worse. Maybe they’d both be better off if the goddess answered her prayers. Marianne suppressed sobs as she let tears flow freely down her cheeks and let the temporary void of sleep claim her.  
  


~***~

The Black Eagles had won the mock battle. That new professor was a force to be reckoned with. Still, Claude planned a feast at the dining hall for the Golden Deer—something about “fear the deer.” Hilda didn’t really understand why he was throwing a party when they’d lost, but she never really understood Claude. Marianne was nowhere to be found. She’d disappeared right after the battle. “_She just doesn’t like crowds,_” Hilda told herself, but she knew that wasn’t the whole story. Marianne had been acting strange for the past few days, avoiding her more than usual, and she had acted especially weird today. Hilda decided to investigate.

The sun was beginning to set as she made her way towards their rooms, but she stopped when she saw Marianne sprinting towards the market. She took off in a full sprint after her. The blue haired girl had run straight through the merchants and out the front gate, heading towards the forest surrounding the monastery. She was fast, but Hilda was faster, and eventually she caught up to her.

“Marianne, what the hell—” she said, only to be cut off by a frantic Marianne.

“Hilda you have to go back, it’s not safe,” she said, deathly serious.

“What are you talking about, Mari?”

“I— you— just go back, OK?!”

“What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

“N-no, I can’t!” she screamed, taking off again, watching the sun fall lower beneath the crest of the earth. Once they were in the forest, Hilda stopped her and grabbed her arm.

“Mari, I—”

“Hilda, there isn’t time to argue about it!” she said, now frantically screaming. “You have to leave NOW!”

“Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you!”

“No, you can’t! No one can!”

“Do you not trust me?” Hilda shouted, the pain in her voice very apparent. “Am I not your friend?”

“Of course you’re my friend!” Marianne yelled. “That’s why you need to leave!”

Hilda’s face softened, shifting from an expression of anger and pain to one of deep concern. Marianne hadn’t ever actually called her a friend before, but she was clearly resolute in her desire for Hilda to leave her be.

“OK,” she finally made herself say, letting go of her nervous friend. “I’ll leave if that’s what you really want.”

Marianne turned to see the sun was almost completely set, and she took off running deeper into the forest. Hilda watched her, frozen in place. It took a minute before she found the resolve to walk and make her way back to the monastery. She stopped and glanced back toward the direction her friend had gone, watching the sun pass below the horizon. A bloodcurdling shriek caused Hilda’s blood to run cold.

“Marianne.” The name tumbled from her mouth when she recognized the voice, and she took off in a full sprint in the direction the blue haired girl had gone. Her legs burned, but she ignored it. When she finally spotted her target, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Marianne let out another cry, and Hilda watched in horror as the screaming girl’s body morphed into what could only be described as a monster. Her screams slowly became gruffer, and her bones broke as she reformed into a massive lizard beast with grey green scales, jagged teeth, razor-sharp claws, and a long horn protruding from its forehead.

“F-fuck,” stammered Hilda as she stumbled back, catching herself on a tree. The beast let out a menacing cry as it began to wander deeper into the forest.

Hilda’s eyes were fixed where the beast had been. She was still trying to process what just happened in front of her. Her sweet, timid Marianne had turned into… whatever that was. She was confused. She was worried. She was scared, but should she be? It—no, she—was still Marianne, right? The quiet girl who didn’t want to be a bother to anyone; the girl that talked to animals. What she looked like didn’t matter.

The pink-haired girl steeled herself and followed the tracks the beast had left behind. She carefully placed each footfall to be as silent as possible. It was strange; the forest normally looked beautiful from the monastery, but tonight it held an intimidating aura. Everything from the way the breeze moved her hair to the trees around her felt off. Hilda tried to keep her thoughts positive, but that was hard when she’d witnessed her friend transform.

When she found Marianne, she kept her distance. A strange, sickening sound penetrated her ears, followed by the distinct smell of blood. Hilda almost retched at the sight of the beast violently ripping apart the flesh of an animal so far gone it was unrecognizable.

“T-that’s not…” Hilda mumbled as she faltered back. “That’s not my Marianne.” She couldn’t handle what was happening in front of her, so she turned around and ran back to the safety of her room.

~***~

Hilda hugged her knees as she sat on her bed. She was trying to make sense of what she’d witnessed. Marianne would never hurt a fly, but whatever that thing was didn’t seem to have the same morals. No wonder Marianne had begged her to leave—she morphed into something awful. The thought of it gruesomely tearing at its prey brought the feeling of nausea back.

But, more than how terrifying the beast itself had been, what really bothered Hilda was the way Marianne had screamed as she’d transformed. Her screams were full of pain and fear. How often did this happen to her? Why did this happen to her? Hilda’s mind flooded with different questions, potential answers, and any possible way she could help Marianne.

“_Your out-of-character helpfulness isn’t the only thing that led me to my theory. I haven’t seen you look at anyone else at Garreg Mach the same way you look at her._”

“Ugh, get out of my head Claude!” she yelled at herself. She’d been trying to suppress that conversation, but it kept popping up. And seeing Marianne like that had caused an indescribable pain in her chest. But anyone’s heart would ache seeing a friend in pain like that, right? Of course she cared for Marianne. Of course she was worried. Of course she put in effort for her friend.

Friend. Marianne had called her that, hadn’t she? Hilda felt a different tug in her chest. Marianne had opened up to her so much in the past moon, and she’d gone and ruined it. Hilda only saw one option. She would confront Marianne about the night’s incident the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stuff actually happened!  
Here's where the story actually starts amiright.  
Anyways I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words, so I feel like a lot of the romantic inner monologue stuff doesn't come through the way I'd like it to. I really am very awful with words, I just have ideas. Also all these chapters feel short, but I'm keeping them all about the same for consistency. If I ever feel like a chapter isn't ready to end I'll keep going, I'm just trying to get my idea to exist in the world, y'know?  
Thanks for reading my story.  
Leave feedback if you want to help me make the story better.


	5. It's Best If You Hate Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda confronts Marianne about that night.

Marianne had spent the next few days avoiding Hilda. She went to classes, because she’d rather not get an earful from Professor Hanneman, but right after lectures were over she’d bolt out of the room before Hilda could say anything. The pink-haired girl sighed when she missed Marianne for the third day in a row.  
  
“Lovers’ quarrel?” whispered a smug voice from behind her.  
  
“Claude, I’m really not in the mood for your shit,” she responded flatly.  
  
“Wow, language.” Claude laughed. “Come on, spill the tea.”  
  
“There’s no tea.”  
  
Claude raised an eyebrow.  
  
“There’s no tea,” Hilda repeated.  
  
“Hilda, she’s been avoiding you like the plague, and you’ve been staring at her longingly. Something is definitely up with you two. You know you can confide in your ol’ friend Claude.”  
  
“I just did something stupid, OK? She asked something of me, and I screwed up.”  
  
“Details?”  
  
“That’s it.”  
  
“Ok, Miss Secretive. I’m just trying to be helpful.”  
  
“I think you’re just trying to be nosy,” she said, her composure slipping. “I don’t need you to pry into my business and tell me about my feelings for Marianne. What part of that is helpful?”  
  
“So, you have feelings for Marianne?”  
  
“Yes, I—No!” Her face lit up. “See, this is what I mean. You’re not being helpful. Goodbye, Claude.” She got up and left the classroom. Claude smiled to himself.  
  


~***~

Nugget made a small noise of satisfaction as he took the meat from Marianne’s hands. The girl sighed and rubbed his head as he ate.

“What do I tell her? There’s no good explanation for running away alone into a forest, is there?”

The wyvern snorted.

“You’ve known Hilda for longer than I have. What do you think?”

She looked deep into the eyes of her friend’s beloved pet for an answer. _Tell her the truth,_ they seemed to say.

“I know I should, but I’m scared.”

“There you are!”

Marianne jumped at Hilda’s voice. She couldn’t run, there was only one way out and Hilda was blocking it.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. We need to talk.”

Marianne’s eyes went wide with fear, and she decided the best course of action would be to, in fact, try and run. But immediately after she’d started to dash, she felt something sharp grab onto her arm. Nugget gently bit her—not enough to hurt, just enough to keep her from leaving.

“Good boy, Nugget,” Hilda said as she walked over and took Marianne’s other arm. Part of Marianne thought the same thing. She looked at the wyvern. _Thanks for making me do this_, she tried to tell him without words. He let go and seemed to nod in response. A small smile made its way onto Marianne’s face, which immediately vanished when she remembered the conversation she was about to have.

The two moved to Marianne’s room. She didn’t keep the place especially nice; books littered the floor, her bed was unmade, and her desk was coated in old papers. The blue-haired girl sat on the bed and patted beside her for Hilda to follow. She took a deep breath before starting.

“I owe you an explanation for the other night,” she began, “I—”

“Wait,” Hilda interjected. She wasn’t entirely sure how to delicately word what she wanted to say, so she decided to just tell her. “I saw it—saw you that is. I was going to leave like you asked, but I heard you scream, and you sounded like you were in a lot of pain. I couldn’t leave you there, so I ran after you. I watched what happened to you, Marianne, and I saw how you acted after.” She decided to spare the details of the animal corpse.

Marianne’s face was completely white—whiter than usual—and it took all of her willpower to not get up and run out of the room. Her vision started to blur as tears welled up in her eyes and began to fall down her face. “I’m sorry,” she managed to get out before she hid her face behind her hands. “I’m a monster. You must hate me now.”

“What?” Hilda said. “No, I could never hate you, Marianne. I’ve been so worried about you.” Her hand crept up Marianne’s back, and she rubbed gentle circles to try and calm the sobbing girl. “Mari, you can tell me anything. I figured you knew that, but if you didn’t, now you do. I’m always here for you. You’re my best friend.”

Marianne lifted her head and looked into Hilda’s pink eyes. Compassion and concern showed through—it was nothing like the pity and unease she saw in her adoptive father’s. She broke into another round of tears and tore herself from Hilda.

“N-no. Hilda, it’s too dangerous—I’m too dangerous. It’s best if you stay far away from me. I-it’s best if you hate me.”

“Don’t say stuff like that!” Hilda snapped. “It hurts me to hear you talk so poorly about yourself. I don’t really know what happened to you, but I don’t think you’re a bad person because of it. You’re—”

“I killed them,” were the words that tumbled from Marianne’s mouth; the words that caused Hilda to forget what she was saying.

“What?” was all she could manage to say in response.

“My parents, Hilda. I killed my parents.” She’d stopped crying, but her voice was soft and shaky, “I don’t want to lose you, too.”

“What,” Hilda muttered again.

“The Crest that my father bore and was passed down to me… It was… Maurice’s Crest. It’s also known as…the Crest of the Beast,” she spoke. “You know about the twelve heroes who saved Fódlan. Nemesis…the 10 Elites, and finally…Maurice. One day, Maurice suddenly transformed into a hideous beast and slaughtered innocent people. The people of Fódlan grew to despise him, and he was stripped of his honor. His whole clan was conquered, and it was believed that his bloodline had vanished… But even now, there exist a few descendants who have inherited Maurice’s Crest, and his curse. My family line…is one of them. Maurice’s Crest is a symbol of disaster. Anyone who comes in contact with it is met with great misfortune. Those who carry the Crest become beasts on the night of the full moon and slaughter innocent people. We lose control of our bodies, and the monster takes over. I never remember those nights.”

Hilda stared at the wall across from her as she processed the information. Marianne redirected her bloodshot eyes to the ground. She knew it was the right thing for Hilda to know—for Hilda to hate her—but it still hurt to lose the first friend she’s had since the incident three years prior.

“Marianne,” she started. Marianne braced herself for Hilda’s words, but still wasn’t prepared for what she said next. “You didn’t do that.”

“What?” it was Marianne’s turn to be confused, “Y-yes, I did I—”

“If you don’t have any control over it, and you don’t remember it happening, then you didn’t do it. Marianne didn’t do those horrible things; it was the beast. You’re not a monster, you just… house a monster… against your will.” Marianne’s eyes were welling with tears again. “The Marianne I know is a sweet, shy, nervous girl who cares more for animals than herself. Your crest doesn’t define you, Mari, and you’re not going to make me hate you. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to,” she said with a beaming smile.

Marianne practically leapt on top of Hilda with the amount of force she hugged her with, making them fall back on the bed. She was crying—this time tears of joy—and sobbed loudly with the occasional “I don’t deserve this,” or “you don’t have to do this”. Hilda hugged her back, comforting her friend.

_“You’ve needed this for a long time, haven’t you,”_ she thought as she held Marianne close, _“just someone to be here for you.”_

The tearful girl eventually cried herself to sleep cuddled up to her pink companion, who decided spending the night wouldn’t be the end of the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NUGGET IS THE GOODEST OF BOIS.  
I love him he's based off of my IRL pet lizard (whose name is Rufus).  
Anyways I'm pretty excited people seem to be liking this story, even if it's only like 20 people, thanks for reading guys!


	6. Conversations with a Horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda and Marianne discuss the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute hasn't it. yaboi got stuck.  
However the next chapter should be less... stucking.  
I wrote some other stuff it you wanna check it out.

Marianne’s lips were soft and warm pressed against her own. Hilda let her tongue snake its way out of her mouth and enter her lover’s. As she kept one of her arms wrapped around Marianne’s neck, her other hand played with the peak of Marianne’s breast. The way the blue-haired girl usually dressed led Hilda to believe they were a modest size, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She broke their kiss, allowing the two to breathe. She trailed kisses from Marianne’s jaw to her ear.  
  
“Is it okay… for me to touch you?” she asked, slowly dragging her hand down the shaking girl’s abdomen. She let her tongue run along the outer edge of her ear. Marianne let out a shy squeak, followed by a nod. A sly smile made its way onto Hilda’s face as her hand crept ever closer to Marianne’s—  
  
Hilda jolted awake with a gasp. She was sitting up on the bed, trying to calm her breathing. Her face was red, and her heart was racing. Just what the hell had that dream been? Her heart almost stopped when she remembered where she was. She looked down at the bed to find Marianne curled up in a ball against the wall. Her face grew hotter, and she jumped out of bed. The sleeping girl didn’t seem bothered by all the commotion, and Hilda tiptoed toward the hallway.  
  
She closed the door behind her, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.  
  
“Well, well, well.”  
  
Hilda’s eyes shot open at the sound of his voice.  
  
“What were you doing in there at this hour?  
  
“N-no, Claude, this isn’t what it looks like!” she blurted. Hilda had never thought her face could turn this red. “I—we made up!”  
  
“I can tell.”  
  
“Not like that! I was just comforting her!”  
  
“Well, you know what they say about a shoulder to cry on.” His smug face was insufferable.  
  
“Claude I’m telling you nothing like that happened!” Well, not in reality, anyway. “Why are you even out!?”  
  
“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d go for a walk. I wasn’t expecting to find you sneaking out of Marianne’s room.”  
  
“Listen, the two of us were talking—just talking—and it got emotional. Eventually she fell asleep on me.”  
  
Claude showed a rare genuine smile. “That’s adorable.” If Hilda’s blush could have deepened any further, it would have. “She’s a keeper.”  
  
“I’m too tired to deal with this. Goodnight, Claude.”  
  
“Goodnight, Hilda.”  
  


~***~

Hilda wasn’t paying attention in class—not that she usually did, but today it was worse than usual. For one, she hadn’t been able to fall asleep when she’d slipped back into her own room last night. Every time she’d closed her eyes, she’d just seen images from her dream. Seeing her sweet Mari like that, even if only in her mind, made her feel strange. Had Claude been right all along? Did she like Marianne that way? She’d never felt that way about anyone before. She’d long since mastered using her sex appeal to get unsuspecting people to do her bidding, and she’d had her share of one-night stands, but legitimately caring about someone was something she wasn’t accustomed to. Just thinking about Marianne made her chest tighten.

But it had only been a dream. Dreams didn’t mean anything, did they? Even incredibly vivid dreams about incredibly cute girls? She’d spent the night talking to and cuddling with this adorable girl, so of course her subconscious would’ve planted some crazy thoughts like that into her head.

“Miss Goneril?” Professor Hanneman asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Y-yes professor?” she replied.

“The answer to the question?”

Question? What question? What class was she in?

“Um… Imperial year 982?”

“Yes, that’s correct,” lauded the professor. Hilda sat back, in awe of her own luck, as the monastery bells rang.

~***~

“—but when I woke up she wasn’t there,” Marianne said, finishing her account of the previous night to her closest friend, Dorte. He nickered in response.

“I thought you’d say that…” she said. “But I really shouldn’t have gotten so happy about it. I’ll just end up hurting her if I let her get closer.”

The horse blinked several times.

“Of course I like her, Dorte. That’s why I can’t—”

Two more blinks.

“Is it that obvious?” she asked, her face flushing light-pink. “That I like her… that way?”

Dorte softly whinnied. Marianne stooped to the ground, covering her face.

“I’ve already bothered Nugget enough… Besides, he might tell Hilda…”

A hoof stomped right in front of her.

“Telling her is absolutely off the table! I’m not good enough for her… Besides, bad things happen to people I love.”

Dorte reared up and let out a wild neigh.

“Please don’t yell at me…”

Marianne felt a big wet tongue on her neck. She stood and gently kissed the horse on the nose.

“Thank you, Dorte,” she whispered to the animal. “I know you only do what you think is best for me.”

“Hey, Marianne,” a familiar bubbly voice said. Oh, goddess, how much had she heard?

“H-hello, Hilda.”

“Spending some quality time with Dorte, huh?”

“Y-yes…”

“I was about to spoil my sweet boy upstairs,” she said, holding up a bag of raw meat. “Would you like to come with me?”

“Oh, I don’t know…”

Dorte nudged the blue-haired girl’s back, seeming to encourage her.

“But… I guess I could.”

The two girls walked up the stable stairs, then moved to the back wall where Hilda’s beloved wyvern resided. The giant lizard leapt up as soon as his owner came into sight, eagerly licking Hilda’s face.

“Down, boy!” Hilda said, gently pushing Nugget off of her. She pulled a slab of meat out of her bag, and the wyvern gobbled it down in a flash.

“He’s so cute, isn’t he?” Hilda asked. Marianne giggled. The thought of Hilda finding a miniature dragon so cute just didn’t make sense to her, yet here she was.

_If she finds this beast cute_, Marianne thought, _then maybe she’d find—n-no I can’t think like that…_

“Yes he is,” she spoke, rubbing the wyvern between the eyes. Nugget cried out happily.

“Nugget,” Hilda called. At his owner’s voice, his attention shifted away from the girl petting him. “How would you feel about helping Marianne out every moon, huh?”

“Wh-what!?”

“I’m thinking we go out with her, you know? To keep her out of trouble.”

“N-no! That’s absolutely _not_ an option!”

Nugget’s tongue made its way up Marianne’s face.

“Well, it looks like that makes two against one.”

“Hilda,” she muttered, double-checking that no one else was around before she went on. “I... can’t let you go out with me on those nights. It’s too dangerous.”

“Look,” said Hilda confidently. “I may play the role of the delicate flower, but I can definitely hold my own. So can Nugget here.”

“I-I don’t know…”

“Listen, Mari, I’m not gonna let you go out there and suffer by yourself. You have to trust me, and if you don’t, you can at least trust Nugget.”

“I…” She looked to the wyvern, whose eyes agreed with Hilda’s words. “I suppose if you’re this adamant about it…”

“I am, and I’m not that adamant about many things.”

Marianne’s gaze didn’t leave the ground as she mumbled something, almost inaudible. “Thank you, Hilda.”


	7. The Nature of the Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hilda's first night with Marianne's transformed self.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, shout out to my best friend for editing.  
He took what I wrote of the beast section and made it like......REALLY good and stuff.

The Golden Deer had just gotten back to the monastery after their moon’s assignment. Marianne went straight for her room to shut herself in. Tonight was the full moon, and Hilda was going to follow her out. Why on earth had she agreed to this? Maybe she could sneak out before Hilda noticed and run far, far away.  
  
“Mari~” Hilda’s voice cooed through the door. Well, there went that idea, out the window. Actually, to jump out the window herself wouldn’t be such a bad idea… The door cracked open. “Can I come in?”  
  
“I suppose…” she managed to squeak. “Hilda, I don’t think you coming out with me is the best idea…”  
  
“I know you’re worried, but I’ll feel a lot better if I can watch over you,” Hilda replied. “And don’t forget, Nugget will be there, too.”  
  
“But—”  
  
“Nope, no buts. Now, let’s go get my sweet boy out of the stables.”  
  


~***~

Marianne rode atop Nugget as Hilda led the two through the forest. The blue-haired girl watched the sun kiss the horizon as Hilda rambled on about something. Normally she would’ve listened to what her friend had to say, but tonight her mind was occupied. Just what would happen after the sun set? She didn’t really know what she was like in her other form. If she was sure of one thing, it was her worry for Hilda.

“Hey, Marianne, can I ask you something?”

The sound of her name pulled her out of her thoughts. “Um… sure.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Huh?”

“You know, when you’re… in between things…”

“Oh, uh…”

Of course it hurt. Every bone in her body broke as her whole being reformed into a beastly abomination. The pain was unimaginable.

“No, not really…”

Hilda turned over her shoulder, looking toward Marianne, but the blue-haired girl was avoiding her gaze. She could tell that Marianne was lying about the pain, but she refocused on the path ahead of her, muttering a halfhearted “okay.”

“Well, I think this is far enough away from the monastery,” Hilda said, holding her hand out to help Marianne off the wyvern. When Marianne’s feet hit the ground, she turned again to the horizon. It was almost time. A sigh escaped her lips as she redirected her attention to Hilda. The smile beaming off of the pink-haired girl shone brighter than the sunset, and it made Marianne’s heart ache. She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her.

“Marianne, I—”

Hilda was cut off when Marianne keeled over and cried out in pain.

“M-Marianne!?” She rushed over to comfort her friend, only to be slapped away.

“N-no! Don’t look!” Marianne yelled in between pained screams, causing Hilda to stumble back. Nugget snorted and nudged his owner from behind. Hilda quickly mounted her wyvern and took off, escaping to the sky just as her friend’s screams started to become growls. When she looked back, the Marianne she knew was gone; now there was only the beast.

“Alright, Nugget,” she said, rubbing her wyvern’s neck. “Remember, that’s still Marianne. We can’t hurt her.” Nugget looked down at the creature below them, then back at Hilda, seeming to nod. The rider guided the dragon towards the ground, squaring off with the massive beast.

“Alright, Marianne,” she called out. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“There is no Marianne,” replied the beast. “Only I.”

The voice caught Hilda off guard. “Y-you can talk!?” she stammered.

“I suppose the mistake was easy to make,” the beast spat back. “Especially for a blathering fool like yourself. But if you thought me some mindless brute, I must tell you now that you thought wrong.”

“Um… well, I really did…”

“Foolish human.”

The beast’s voice was odd. There were eerie hints of Marianne in its tone, but unlike the girl she knew, this voice was breathy and raspy. Every word bounced around the creature’s cavernous mouth before breaking free, creating a false echo.

“Well, if Mari isn’t here, where is she?”

“The girl you knew is locked within me,” replied the beast, its eyes never leaving Hilda. “She is powerless over my will. In fact, she weeps. How fearful she is—afraid I’ll hurt you!”

“W-will you?”

“Nothing would thrill me more than to sink my teeth into your flesh!” snarled the beast as it lunged towards Hilda. Quickly, she pulled back her wyvern, narrowly avoiding the onslaught of its monstrous jaws. Hilda kept one hand tight on Nugget’s reins, gripping her axe with the other.

“Come on!” cried Hilda, flashing a smug smile. “Is that the best you’ve got?”

Drool slipped out from between the monster’s teeth. “Hmm, so you resist. It has been so long since I last hunted prey that entertained me so. It only furthers my desire to rip the skin from your bones!”

“You’ll have to catch me first!” cried the pink-haired girl.

Hilda whistled to her wyvern, who cried out as they took off into the forest. Nugget expertly maneuvered through the trees, not fazed by the guttural scream and heavy footfalls that thundered from behind them. Hilda pulled up on the reins, leading her mount skyward. The beast paused beneath them, gazing up with bloodlust in its eyes.

“Having fun down there?” the girl mockingly called.

“This is the most entertained I’ve been in three years!” it called back. “When I’ve killed you, I am confident I shall savor the memory forever.”

“That requires you kill me.”

“You underestimate me!”

In one thunderous motion, the beast reared onto its back legs, coming eye to eye with Hilda. Furiously, it swept its claw, but Nugget was quicker, ducking low to dodge the assault. The wyvern rocketed around the monster, coming up behind it as it fell back onto all fours.

The two continued on into the night—the beast chasing after Hilda, and Hilda taunting it in retaliation. The moon had risen, peaked, and made its descent back towards the horizon. The beast’s gaze turned to the falling moon, then back to Hilda.

“It seems you’ve evaded my grasp tonight,” it spoke. “In my years of bloodlust, none have dodged my wrath for so long as you. But I will tell you now... one of these nights, I will feast on your flesh, and I will enjoy it immensely.”

The beast let out a horrendous roar, and Hilda watched as its body contorted, morphing back into Marianne’s form. For a moment she was relieved, but then it hit her that Marianne wasn’t moving. Hilda hopped off her wyvern and dashed to the girl’s side. She was just asleep—and naked. Her breasts looked exactly as they had in her dream. Hilda’s face flushed as she tried to shake that thought from her mind; she took off her jacket to cover her friend.

Marianne woke up with her head in Hilda’s lap. The pink-haired girl was leaning against Nugget, and both girl and wyvern were fast asleep. Marianne smiled and wrapped the jacket around herself. Hilda really was too good for her.

~***~

Hilda spent the next day struggling to stay awake during Hanneman’s lecture. A long night spent with a beastly version of her best friend hadn’t exactly done wonders for her beauty sleep. But every bit of it had been worth it. She’d do anything just to see Marianne smile—just to have Marianne smile _for her_.

“You’re staring at her,” Claude whispered.

“Am not,” she muttered, turning her head. “I’m just daydreaming…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so soft for this cuddle puddle of Hilda Marianne and Nugget  
[Here's a dumb meme I made about Hilda and Nugget](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQjJb_WWoAEV6nH?format=jpg&name=medium)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so I'll update this whenever I feel like it *dabs* I don't plan on ever dropping this though. I have ideas for the entire story.  
if you want to follow me [on twitter @monkeysrool75](https://twitter.com/monkeysrool75) go for it.


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